My dearest baby

Dear baby (soon to be in my itching-to-hold-you arms),
We made it. It's here! Your birthdate is so close that I close my eyes and can just feel you. I can smell your sweet beautiful baby smell and kiss your little chubby cheeks while rocking you in the chair Daddy bought me for Christmas (yes, baby, your Daddy is that thoughtful). I can see your little tuff of white blonde hair, even. It's faint, but it's there. Dreaming of you at night isn't enough anymore. I can close my eyes anytime and you're there. I can't explain it, but it's true.

Remember when those two little pink lines showed up? I was so happy that I screamed and Daddy thought I had hurt myself! Ever since those two pink lines, my life has changed forever. I will forever empathize with those with morning sickness. I call those the "Dark Times". I won't remind you of how awful they were! I was so thrilled when I could eat again and my clothes begain to tighten around my growing belly. I simply adored hearing your little heart beat for the first time and even shed a few tears. A few black and white pictures of your body made my life complete. You were my baby and couldn't even believe it.

When we discovered we'd be buying footballs and trucks instead of tutus and tiaras, Daddy could not stop smiling. A boy. Our first baby would be a boy and we went out to buy your first pair of shoes. (You probably have more shoes than most girls I know) The time seem to tick away slowly as we prepared your room and made purchases on Craig's List. Be warned: Daddy loves Craig's List. Five baby showers later and you have got the best wardrobe in the whole house!

I've always loved looking at my belly and imagining your little hand up against it. When I could see you move around from the outside was when things really got exciting! Daddy could not believe that you moved around so much and he loved it! In the last couple of months, you have had the hiccups almost daily. I love those hiccups. Those little rhythmic hits were constant reminders that you're still in there, living and breathing. I'll miss feeling those kicks and jabs. But I'll especially miss those hiccups.

We've been together for almost 40 weeks, baby. Forty weeks of tears, laughter, excitement, nervousness, but mostly peace. You've brought me a peace that only comes with a baby. The last couple of weeks have been my most favorite. Have they been long, sleepness, painful nights and even more painful days? Yes. But, I've never felt the love and Spirit of the Lord so strongly in my life as I have these last few weeks. I know a miracle is about to happen and I will forever be grateful for it. We've been together for 4o weeks, but we'll be linked forever. I'll always be your mommy and you'll always be my first baby boy. This knowledge brings tears to my eyes even writing it. My heart is bursting to love you and my arms are aching to hold you.

I'll see you soon, my little one. Love you forever, Mama